A to Z Challenge the letter F = Five and a Quiz

A friend told me about this book several years ago and how it had helped her better understand the fellow she was dating. After a particularly horrifying breakup, I decided to add this one to the collection of self-help books I was reading.  I read it and took the quiz and it really brought out the differences in me and my former boyfriend. There were other factors involved in the demise of our relationship, but this book did explain some of the ways we were thinking.

Dr. Gary Chapman has written several of these books target at certain demographics, such as singles, teenagers, married couples and even children. I hope to read The Five Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace soon.  He has a wonderful with a quick survey that will give you a better understanding of the language you prefer for communication.

The five languages he writes about are:

Acts of service

Physical Touch

Receiving Gifts

Quality Time

Words of Affirmation

After reading this book, I realized I am a huge Quality Time person and my ex was an Acts of Service person. (He even fixed my sink and took out my trash once when he was in the neighborhood to visit way after we broke up)

Today, if you get a few moments, take the quiz just for fun and see what the results are!

A to Z Challenge the letter D = Daring

“Faith is not trying to believe something regardless of the evidence.  Faith is DARING to do something regardless of the consequences.”  Sherwood Eddy

I remember when my son was little and my sentences often started with, “ Don’t you dare….” I was young and probably could have phrased “Don’t you dare drive the lawnmower until you are older” in a more positive manner, but keeping up with him was exhausting. Granted he was a very precocious child and I never dreamed he would stick a key in the electrical outlet or drive off on the lawnmower before he was two year old. He was a very DARING child and observant. He studied people and their actions (sometimes too closely J) and was convinced he could do whatever they did.

So many of the women I admire had a DARING spirit. Amelia Earhart, Josephine Baker, Mae West, and the list goes on. Most if not all of the daring women of history suffered hardships in their pursuit to express themselves. If you firmly believe in something however, you do so with the understanding that you will face hardships.

You need not fly around the world to trek all over the globe to be daring. DARING can start in your own back yard. It could be as simple as trying a new food, taking up a sport, or standing up for a cause. I took up roller derby and today I wore a small tiara to work. Yes, a tiara. It resembles a headband somewhat but it is still a tiara.  I have also gotten comments from women my age who say they would not DARE to try to skate, much less play roller derby.   I DARE you to do something today that is different from your normal routine.

This is my favorite bumper sticker quote of all time and it is one of my mottos:

The A –Z Challenge: CONFIDENT

From Dictionary.com: Sure of oneself; having no uncertainty about one's own abilities, correctness, successfulness, etc.; self-confident;bold: a confident speaker.

I love this photo. I think it pretty much describes most cats in general. I have also seen little dogs that weighed 4 pounds and were absolutely convinced they were the equal of a great dane. On the other hand, my sister has a Labrador that weighs about 110 pounds and he is convinced he is a lap dog. He has seen the terrier and yorkie sit with her in her chair, so why can’t he?

When I look in the mirror and see myself as put together well, I feel confident. I have an awesome pair of Italian pumps that I don’t get to wear often because of the color. I found an extremely discounted pair of pants last week and I am determined to wear those pumps until the pants or the shoes wear out. Those pumps boost my confidence and make me feel like a powerful strong woman for some reason.

What helps you feel your most confident? 

This little girl exudes confidence! What a cool skating photo.

A –Z Challenge: BELIEVE

I think this is truly my favorite word. I love the definition from Dictionary.Com “to have confidence in the truth, the existence, or thereliability of something, although without absolute proof thatone is right in doing so: Only if one believes in something can one act purposefully.”

I would also like to recommend a great book that deals with Positive Thinking. “Beyond Positive Thinking: A No-Nonsense Formula for Gettingthe Results You Want” By Robert Anthony.  I was gifted the audio version and listen to it quite a lot on my commute to and from work. The audio book is almost like having your own cheerleader in the car with you! I knew I had to purchase the Kindle version to be able to reinforce what I was hearing. (I hope I am not violating any copyright laws here, but I really do want to recommend this book for anyone wanting to boost their self-confidence.)

Chapter 3 “ What Are You Telling Yourself”, was really informative for me. Two points that I remember well are how children from the same family and growing up with the same experiences can perceive those experiences differently and this quote “Other people can hand us opinions about ourselves.”  This chapter really goes into detail and discusses several important topics such as : Building a Self-Image, Increasing Performance, Attitudes, the importance of Self Talk.

Chapter 4 “Believing is Seeing” discusses concepts for helping you to see the person you want to be and Chapter 5 discusses “Write Your Own Script”.

As we grow into adulthood we are conditioned into believing things about ourselves that are simply not true. These are the perceptions of other people and if we are not careful, they can become how we perceive ourselves. I wish I had had this book in my twenties to explain some of the ingrained self-beliefs I grew up with.  As a child, being compared to siblings or cousins even if at times somewhat favorably can be detrimental. I have one sibling, a sister that is two years younger, and she was referred to as “the pretty one”.  I can laugh at that now, (therapy does wonders lol) but imagine the effect it had on me as a teenager. 

Today, I BELIEVE things like: I will finish my Work in Progress, I will not only skate my 25 laps but make it to 27. I BELIEVE I will make it through all 26 letters because, after all, there are way more than 26 wonderful things to discover and write about!

The A-Z Challenge: Affirmations

Graphic from: Finerminds.com

Can you count the times during the day when you have been told something positive about yourself by another?  How often through the day do you tell others something positive about themselves?  

Affirmations are statements that declare truth within it. Take a moment to think about the things you said to yourself today. Were they positive or negative? Removing negative statements about ourselves from our thoughts is extremely difficult. Keeping a journal and recording those random thoughts will help as we learn to reprogram the negative into a positive experience.  I firmly believe we can be our own worst critics when in fact we should be our best cheerleaders!

How often have you heard someone say, I wish I had more money or I wish I had a better job? The key to making these wishes happen is to believe in our words and to go out there and use the resources available to make these wishes come true.  I have personally experienced affirmations that came true. I believed that they would happen and trusted that somehow the money would appear to make them happen.

I am passing on some links here that have been meaningful to me:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qR3rK0kZFkg – This little girl knows who she is and I hope she keeps this confidence throughout her lifetime!

http://affirmart.blogspot.com/2009/05/power-word-for-action.html - Awesome affirmations and motivational art.

http://www.thewellnesswarrior.com.au/2012/02/are-you-positive-how-and-why-affirmations-work/ - Jessica Ainscough from the Wellness Warrior and her story of how affirmations have helped her.

http://www.kindovermatter.com/2010/03/kind-over-matter-spring-collboration.html - This is an awesome free collection of printable affirmations along with a printable envelope.  

Fears, Obstacles and a Tarot Card

I recently received a gorgeous Tarot Deck, The Gilded Tarot,designed by Ciro Marchetti. The cards are absolutely beautiful with elements of nature and animals added to them. For me, they are the most positive feeling cards I have ever owned. I decided this week to really open my mind up and randomly select a different card each day to study. I use the book by Barbara Moore and Ciro Marchetti to study each card and supplement it with various other resources. I plan on keeping a journal of each card for everyday of the week and then reviewing what I learned on Sunday.

The first card I drew this week was the lovely Eight of Swords. A blind folded woman with her hands loosely bound by a gold cord is depicted. In other decks she is sometimes bound by loose wrappings and she has shoes on her feet, which I had never closely noticed as a symbol. The swords around her are stuck tip down into the ground around her.

The feelings conjured by this card can be of helplessness or being trapped in a situation and another website suggested that the swords could represent negative words that the person depicted in the card has begun to believe and is being held not by the bonds but by the negativity of the words. The shoes and the spread apart swords show that she could simply walk through them. The loose bonds in the Gilded Tarot deck, suggest once she is ready, she will simply slip through the bonds, remove the blindfold and see her way clear to move through the swords, thus breaking a negative cycle.

I relate closely to that card this week as I have faced barriers in roller derby, my work in progress, my fitness regime and in my daily work. As I look closer at those barriers, I realize no one else is hampering my progress. Fear has become rooted in my subconscious and now I must overcome those fears. In roller derby, I lack one skill completing my ability to participate in actual game day play. I must complete 25 laps in 5 minutes and I am very close. I have absolutely no fear of injury, which may sound crazy at my age, but I have a fear of once again falling short at 22.5 or 23 of those 25 laps. I also realized this week as I analyzed fears in my life, that the fear of getting historical facts correct is slowly progress on my WIP and fear failing in an upcoming fitness challenge allows me to accept excuses I make for skipping workouts.

My writing and derby friend Teralyn, has a great blog post this week here. She describes a member of her writing group that asked for suggestions promoting his book. She asked him an important question and restated his response in a positive manner, only for him to reply that he actually desired more. I honestly believe a fear of some sort is hampering him. When he firmly states his true desire and comes to terms with how to achieve those, I think overcoming a fear will be a major factor.

So what are your goals or desires and what fears do you have or have overcome to achieve those goals? Do you have any suggestions for others in overcoming fears?

Writer's Wednesday and My Favorite Zany Character

Wow, this is a long post! Quilt of Dragonflies  is hosting Write on Wednesday this week and the topic is Zany Characters. Once again, my old movie buff affection surfaces at this topic. Lucille Ball and Bob Hope probably spring to most people's minds when they think about zany old movie characters, but mine immediately thinks of a movie I bought for a dollar at a dollar store. The title is "My Man Godfrey" starring Carole Lombard and William Powell. You can read all about this screwball comedy here. This movie is often shown on TCM and is a pure delight to watch.

The opening scene concerns a group of Park Avenue rich people engaged in a frenzied scavenger hunt. This movie was made in 1936 and the fact that a depression is going on contrasts this group's shenanigans even more so. One character even states that the scavenger hunt is for charity but no one even knows if they make money or where it goes if they do. Carole Lombard plays a spoiled rich girl used to ordering people about and daddy bailing her out of trouble. She is likable in a way though her sister not so much. William Powell plays a homeless man living in the city dump and she hires him to become their butler. Eventually, Carole Lombard's character realizes she is in love with this new butler. As she ups her antics to win him over, her sister ups hers to get him fired. The mother is scatter brained almost beyond belief and the father is trying not to lose his mind keeping them all out of jail for the stunts they pull. 

I really hate to give away movie plots here but if you would like to read the full synopsis please click the link above. For me, this movie defines the word ZANY.

AND NOW.....

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